Crocroaches

Did you know it's been over a year since the internet got an injection of FashHole'y goodness? Time flies...

So we'll start this little session of filling in the gaps with one burning question that's never far from this homo's mind.

WHY THE FUCK ARE PEOPLE STILL WEARING CROCS?

This is one thing that needs to die ASAP. It's shocking to think that disco pants and ombre hair have come and gone but these hideous items of footwear still remain. It's a joke that's not even funny anymore. Unless you work in a hospital/dental surgery, these are not in the slightest bit acceptable. Ever. The only thing left after the apocalypse won't even be cockroaches anymore, it will be these offensive shoes, if you can even call them that.

Where is the appeal in these clumpy, perforated chunks of plastic in a variety of hideous colours? Why would you want to put these on your feet? In what way do these horrendous, offensive, hideous have such mass appeal that they have their own stores? And more importantly, who are the idiots spending money on these monstrosities in order to be seen in public wearing them?

I've made it quite clear in the past the strong, footwear related opinions I have (I will never approve of a nude ballet pump and have no qualms about admitting this), but Crocs really do trump all other footwear in the DO NOT WANT stakes. For real, I can't understand anybody who would ever want to wear these. Is there some sort of unexplained mystery appeal to these shoes that I'm missing out on?

xo
A

This is a first...

Guess who's back, bitches?

So here's the thing. All quiet on the blogging front for over a year...there's been a few drafts that never made it to the final cut, but what's the point in blogging for the sake of it when you've really got nothing to say?

Until now.

So, this isn't a guarantee that this blog is suddenly going to become more active once again, although hopefully it will be. But quality, not quantity. This, boys and girls, is to stop you from making one hell of a mistake the next time you wander into your local Boots store.

So, your boy is a fan of Maestro foundation (or "fusion makeup" if you want to use the proper term) by Giorgio Armani. It's a nice finish and looks pretty invisible. But when the little rubber dripper ran out with two weeks til payday, the newly advertised "Nude Magique: Eau de Teint" by L'Oreal seemed like a great, cut price alternative. Blogs hailed it as a dupe for the revolutionary world's thinnest foundation.

It isn't.

For one, it doesn't have the dripper that makes application so easy. While your local Armani counter will advise you to apply using your fingers, your boy here swears by his round buff brush for application. Just drip a few dots onto your skin and blend, blend, blend away. With this L'Oreal alternative, even that is a hassle. No dropper means you need to tap it onto your face, and there the problems begin.

For one, this texture is nothing like the Armani Maestro. Oilier, runnier and the smell is just...no thanks. The colour has a far more orange tinge to it and once applied and buffed out, it leaves nothing more than an orangey film over your skin and not the invisible nude promised.

Never buy it, I urge you.

xo