Tis the season....to treat yourself?

Unless you've been living under a rock the last few weeks, you will have noticed that the festive season is well and truly upon us, the time to start spending your hard earned money on those nearest and dearest to you instead of yourself.

Well I'mma leave it to RuPaul to summarise my thoughts on this one...

Can I get an amen up in here?

Okay, so strictly speaking it probably isn't the best idea to be making trips to MAC and Zara when your boy has presents to be buying, but when you've got a slight shopaholic problem, what's a boy to do? With Christmas just around the corner, it's time to be thinking of others. But can y'all just appreciate the nice things I bought myself first?

Let's start with this jumper from Zara. Why? Because it is gone with the wind fabulous, of course. Anyone who knows me knows about an obsession with a certain Versace for H&M bomber that never quite made it into my wardrobe and has been coveted on eBay ever since (but seriously, no matter how much I love it, I just can't justify spending 6 times the RRP on something that, at the end of the day, is H&M quality with a Versace label attached). This is the perfect alternative, just the right amount of gaudy Versace-esque baroque print on the sleeves and something that I'm having to ration myself from wearing too much. With Zara, you run the risk of dipping your toes in the water of the "generic gay" look that seems to be so prominent, and of course you always have to go up a size (thanks, Zara), but totally worth it. This is definitely the favourite addition to my wardrobe this autumn/winter.

What next? Well, there was a fateful day last weekend which involved a trip to MAC. A £15 concealer was all that was needed, so why did I leave £80 lighter? Well, let's just say that this particular trip to MAC was a success. A few days previous, I had went in (on a quiet morning one day during the week, at which point the normally mobbed store was dead), but the girl who ended up serving me did nothing more than slap a few samples of concealer on the back of my hand with little explanation of what they were and what all the NC, NW and other colour names meant, never mind what each particular product would do and why I should buy it. Needless to say I left empty handed that day, but returned on a particularly busy Saturday. This time, the girl who served me couldn't have been more helpful (whether or not this was due to being accompanied by my makeup artist boyfriend who always manages to ensure whoever is lucky enough to serve us gives us amazing service), sat me down at a chair that wasn't in use (the less said about her draglicious manager who told her she shouldn't have done this as it was busy and they had bookings - in front of me - the better) and tried out a few samples on me, talking me through what she was doing and the benefits of each product. This resulted in me not only leaving with a concealer, but a brush and two bronzers (one for me, one for the boy - see, I'm not too bad at present buying). It just goes to show the difference good customer service makes, which is something I'm always very particular about. If you give me bad or no service, you don't get my money. Simples.

Yes, in the picture, these hot black leather joggers are modelled by a girl. But so what? When you spend 40+ hours of your life every week in a girl's clothes shop, you end up getting caught out by things that you want to wear. These leather joggers are from Forever 21 and are the perfect addition to my winter wardrobe. The bonus to such purchases is that the definitely don't fall into the "generic gay" category as you'll rarely see another guy wearing the same things you've found in a womenswear retailer, definitely not as much as if you'd been hitting up Zara or Topman. They are perfect, and I am excited to start wearing them.

At this point, you may be wondering why everything is black. Do you even have to ask? However, this biker parka from River Island is probably my least favourite of my November purchases, which is ironic as it is the most expensive at a cool £85. Having stalked this jacket online, I couldn't wait for pay day to get it in my wardrobe. When I picked it up from the store and opened it, the excitement I had ancipated fell flat. Yeah, it's nice, but it's not as amazing as I'd hoped. However, I like the biker and zip detailing and it will be fine for the winter. If not, eBay it is.

For December, my resolution is to buy nothing for myself until my Christmas shopping is complete. We'll see if this happens, but I'm going to give it a good shot.

Until the next time..

xoA

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BLEACH not blonde

Good morning Upper East Siders...

Let's start off with some facts. Clear facts. Nobody really cares what some 20something homo from Glasgow has to say about toiletries and beauty products. This is not a beauty blog. This is not anything other than opinion.

Where else to end up on an unsuccessful payday shopping spree than old faithful Boots? Land of the 3 for 2 on pretty much anything, advantage card points and unecessary toiletries and products that yes, are total impulse buys...can always be relied upon to relieve some hard earned money when all else fails.

Despite many a hard learned lesson about dabbling in peroxide, your boy's fascination with experimenting with a dip dye has been reignited with Khloe Kardashian's FLAWLESS ombre locks. Where else to head than the freshly launched range of BLEACH London products at Boots? BLEACH - for those of you who have been living under an Instagram free rock for the last year - is a cult London salon widely credited with the multi-coloured My Little Pony inspired pastel dip dyes many of you are now trying to grow out. With a new range of at-home products including a DIY dip dye kit receiving great reviews, it would be a lie to say the thoughts of "okay, I know my hair is finally recovering from being completely fucked with last winter's attempt at blonde, but would a wee bit of a dip dye really hurt?" hadn't been going through my mind. But no, I told myself, self control is the way forward. Instead lets focus on healthy, glossy hair. So the "Reincarnation Mask" and "Split Fix" serum were purchased, and here's what followed...

So let's start with the "Reincarnation Mask". Usually, all of these "deep conditioning treatment" type of product all promise the world, but do little more than leave your hair feeling a little bit shinier until the next time you wash it. Not sure how much the BLEACH version will fare, but so far, so good. Hair definitely feels healthier, and dead ends? What dead ends. Well, they're still there, but when you've not had a good trim for the last 5 months that can happen.

"Not a total betty, but a vast improvement." - Cher Horowitz

The reincarnation mask definitely leaves your hair feeling a whole lot healthier. The instructions recommend wrapping your hair in a hot towel while the treatment is in, but really, who has time to heat up a towel? In fact, how would you even go about heating up a towel?

Next up, the "Split Fix" serum. Okay, so on first pump you realize this isn't like any other serum. Your boy is used to Moroccan Oil, and this is definitely a lot runnier in texture. So runny, in fact, that most of the first pump slid off on the journey from hand to hair. Once applied successfully, however, you can definitely see a difference. These products are definitely ones that will be getting purchased again.

Now, maybe a dip dye isn't such a bad idea after all...

xoA

Crocroaches

Did you know it's been over a year since the internet got an injection of FashHole'y goodness? Time flies...

So we'll start this little session of filling in the gaps with one burning question that's never far from this homo's mind.

WHY THE FUCK ARE PEOPLE STILL WEARING CROCS?

This is one thing that needs to die ASAP. It's shocking to think that disco pants and ombre hair have come and gone but these hideous items of footwear still remain. It's a joke that's not even funny anymore. Unless you work in a hospital/dental surgery, these are not in the slightest bit acceptable. Ever. The only thing left after the apocalypse won't even be cockroaches anymore, it will be these offensive shoes, if you can even call them that.

Where is the appeal in these clumpy, perforated chunks of plastic in a variety of hideous colours? Why would you want to put these on your feet? In what way do these horrendous, offensive, hideous have such mass appeal that they have their own stores? And more importantly, who are the idiots spending money on these monstrosities in order to be seen in public wearing them?

I've made it quite clear in the past the strong, footwear related opinions I have (I will never approve of a nude ballet pump and have no qualms about admitting this), but Crocs really do trump all other footwear in the DO NOT WANT stakes. For real, I can't understand anybody who would ever want to wear these. Is there some sort of unexplained mystery appeal to these shoes that I'm missing out on?

xo
A

This is a first...

Guess who's back, bitches?

So here's the thing. All quiet on the blogging front for over a year...there's been a few drafts that never made it to the final cut, but what's the point in blogging for the sake of it when you've really got nothing to say?

Until now.

So, this isn't a guarantee that this blog is suddenly going to become more active once again, although hopefully it will be. But quality, not quantity. This, boys and girls, is to stop you from making one hell of a mistake the next time you wander into your local Boots store.

So, your boy is a fan of Maestro foundation (or "fusion makeup" if you want to use the proper term) by Giorgio Armani. It's a nice finish and looks pretty invisible. But when the little rubber dripper ran out with two weeks til payday, the newly advertised "Nude Magique: Eau de Teint" by L'Oreal seemed like a great, cut price alternative. Blogs hailed it as a dupe for the revolutionary world's thinnest foundation.

It isn't.

For one, it doesn't have the dripper that makes application so easy. While your local Armani counter will advise you to apply using your fingers, your boy here swears by his round buff brush for application. Just drip a few dots onto your skin and blend, blend, blend away. With this L'Oreal alternative, even that is a hassle. No dropper means you need to tap it onto your face, and there the problems begin.

For one, this texture is nothing like the Armani Maestro. Oilier, runnier and the smell is just...no thanks. The colour has a far more orange tinge to it and once applied and buffed out, it leaves nothing more than an orangey film over your skin and not the invisible nude promised.

Never buy it, I urge you.

xo